Jenny and Erin

Have you ever watched sadly as a friend, relative or even a celebrity wasted their life? Do you ever find yourself late at night pondering whether you are wasting yours? There have been times I have. However, lately I wonder whether it is even possible to waste a life. There are ways of living that appear to decrease the quality of an individual’s life as well as their happiness, but neither of these clearly measure whether a life has been wasted or not. So, if it is possible to waste your life, how and just who determines it was wasted?

In learning more about science I have found a great deal of emphasis placed on evolutionary theory and the “goals” of all organisms, including humans. The strongest measure of a individual’s success appears to be whether or not they successfully reproduce. After reading Erin’s posts on physical attraction through the lens of biological mate selection and looking at studies demonstrating links between certain physical traits and perceived attractiveness in both men and women, it seems clear we are all here for one basic goal - to reproduce. So, I begin to wonder if the only way to waste a life is to not reproduce.

This new thought intrigues me. I decided to look towards religion for another perspective, and surprisingly found a lot to back up this formulating definition of a wasted life. A great deal of religion is concerned with the solidification and enforcement of social norms, key among them being the regulation of reproduction (even though there is variation amongst religious beliefs the charge to reproduce is more times than not seen as imperative). For example, using birth control if you are a practicing Catholic is considered a mortal sin - right up there with killing another human being. So if we examine the religious explanations of what makes us useful one of the key indicators is to successfully reproduce. So again I wonder is a wasted life defined primarily by not reproducing?

In order to determine whether a life is being wasted it seems common sense to consider the opposite - what components constitute having a useful or full life? Then, wouldn’t the exact opposites lead to the definition of a wasted life? I have always assumed so, but I am beginning to doubt. To better define a useful or full life I found myself smack-dab in the center of the fields of morality and personal development, or perhaps more appropriately personal betterment. Surely, I thought this would help. Ah, no.

So, I first turned to morality to help me define a useful or full life. It seemed like the obvious place to begin, as it argues the basis for human ethics and is the foundation for such lofty disciplines as religion and philosophy. Unfortunately a bit of reading demonstrated to me just how dependent morality was upon “the proper functioning of emotional circuits in the prefrontal cortex” and that “automatic and unconscious process can and probably do cause the majority of our behaviors, even the morally loaded actions (like rudeness or altruism) that we thought we were controlling consciously”. Translation: we are all biological beings likely not in control of our own motives.

Okay, so morality could not give me the answers I was looking for. I figured I would certainly find what I was looking for in the realm of personal betterment. I learned quite a bit in my search, it just was not what I expected. There is a lot of very useful information on how to be a better person - more organized, how to have a better memory, less fearful and last but not least how to find and keep true love. Hello, reproduction. Nothing here to add to my definition…

Is it possible that reproduction is ultimately the sole indicator as to whether one has wasted their life? Whether you view life as a gift that can be endlessly cultivated, or merely a biological reality, maybe all of the variations of living should be acceptable? Who are we to determine waste? Even if it is within ourselves?

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In recent months I have become increasingly aware of some seeming catch-22’s in the world of blogging. The more I read, the more it appears many people start blogging to make money, yet often much of what is written does not offer a lot of value. The catch is often what it takes to create valuable content goes against all the best advice for generating traffic and monetizing a blog.

Posting frequency and consistency

Posting frequently and consistently is a highly advised to increase traffic. Traffic generates money. However, what happens when the post you are working on is not flowing and you do not have anything else ready for tomorrow’s deadline? Do you not post for that day or do you put up an okay post? At this point you are faced with a decision as to what matters more, creating content of value or maintaining a consistent posting schedule - both of which impact your ultimate chances of success. This is something that has been a topic of much debate between Jenny and I, resulting in us twice not posting anything at all.

Maintaining your personality and voice

As your popularity grows you get to know your readers, their interests and their buttons. It is very difficult to find the balance between maintaining yourself, while continuing to satisfy your readers. If you are labeled as a self development site, for instance, you may hesitate to write about weird science. Further, in attempts to avoid hurting or alienating your readers as you get to know them you may feel inclined to self-censor, which ultimately causes you to run the risk of losing the voice and the edge that originally drew people to you.

Creating community and relationships

This is one of my favorite aspects of having a blog. Through blogging I have found people I care about, who challenge my thinking and whose thinking I challenge. These are relationships I want to maintain. Part of growing an relationship is being thoughtful, taking time to get to know one another, to engage in dialog and occasionally spirited debate. Unfortunately there is only so much of that time and energy to go around. If you are trying to monetize your blog, authentically maintaining dozens of relationships may become problematic.

Generating traffic

Let’s face it, generating traffic takes a lot of time. Traffic does not just appear because you have great content, you have to let people know you exist. It takes energy to generate traffic from places such as Google, carnivals or social networking sites. As you become further identified with a particular niche or key words and see corresponding spikes in your traffic it becomes easy to start thinking in terms of “hits” or traffic rather than visitors. I’m not so sure this is a good view in the long term.

So what does one do?

Ultimately it comes down to a fairly simple question. Why should I read your blog or you read mine? If your answer is “so I can make money” it is not enough. If that was my answer, I would not expect you to return. I certainly applaud both the desire and the person who manages to earn money from their blog and wonder if Jenny and I could possibly juggle this as well. But to earn any money there has to be more genuine motivation than cash.

If you are anything like Jenny and I you care, you want your words to matter, to have a voice and want to read and support others who do the same. This is what I aspire to. Bottom line – I don’t want to do or write anything that doesn’t challenge or otherwise impact me, otherwise it becomes just another way to waste our time. Oh, but what to do about all those darn catch-22’s…

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Earning big money, working whatever hours you want, telling other people what to do, free lunches and meetings over golf. What’s not to love about being in charge? Well, things are not always what they appear. Sometimes being a leader can suck.

1. Too many yeses. You slowly find yourself surrounded by people who will respond yes to anything. Unfortunately, they may not actually mean yes, or even be able to deliver what they promise.

2. Ultimate accountability. The higher you rise in an organization the less you know about its day-to-day operations, yet the more accountable you are for everything that happens. Further, the more authority you have the less people tell you because they do not want to be the one to burden you or incur your wrath by being the messenger of the wrong message.

3. The magnifying glass effect.Your every mood, word and deed are magnified proportional to the size and fiscal state of your organization. As the boss you are the center of attention all the time. Walking down the corridor to your window office with a scowl because of your flat tire in the morning scares people. The whispers start, rumors build and by afternoon your admin staff are being asked about the impending layoffs.

4. No one gives you empathy. When things go bad for you, few people truly emphasize. Heck, they may even feel little internal glee. After all you do already have everything…

5. You start to believe the hype. If you are not careful you might start to think that you really do have all the answers and deserve special treatment, such as your own elevator so that you don’t have to interact with the “little people”. While you might be a great motivator this kind of thinking makes you a crummy leader.

6. You are never “off”. Even when you are not working, you are sought out privately for the role you hold publicly. For all intents you are your job. Have a bad day? Tough, off to the gala you go. And you can not just sit there politely because everybody wants something, even if it is only a handshake.

7. Your family isn’t composed of yes people. Your family is not part of your “team” and don’t jump when your finger snaps the way everyone else in your world does. It is hard to accept that your teenage daughter is not impressed with the eloquent argument you just gave on the cost effectiveness of blah, blah, blah, blah. Where’s the respect? Doesn’t she understand you’re paid a lot of money to give much harder opinions than these?

8. It is lonely. Finding friends is difficult, not only because you work a lot of hours and as you rise your peer group gets smaller, but because the people you regularly interact with are usually competitors or people who want your job.

9. It’s hard to know who to trust. If you are a believer in the fish philosophy you know you are surrounded by sharks (not cute little puffer fish) waiting for you to slip so they can take a bite. Perceived vulnerability is like blood in the water as it attracts a big old pack of predators. Others want what you have and if you are not careful they will try to take it.

10. Your choices impact people’s lives. You have to make decisions that may be good for the organization, but are bad for certain individuals within it. Cutbacks and layoffs might be essential but those are real people with real lives and families that your decision impacts. It takes a strong person to unflinchingly make hard choices while maintaining empathy for those harmed by said choices.

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Check out more opinions of why leadership sucks at The Leadership Epidemic.

Oh, what kind of fool am I? I found myself outraged and intrigued last week by the homes and energy consumption of President Bush and former Vice-President Al Gore. In fact, I cared enough to research and write a post about it. Click here to read last week’s post “President Bush, In the Closet? Al Gore a Hypocrite?”. Now I’ve realized that not only was I missing the big picture this whole time, I’ve also been drastically underestimating the players – a couple of shifty politicians. Worse yet, if I’m right, not only have I been duped - so have you!

One of our readers forwarded me the link to “The Great Global Warming Swindle”, a documentary challenging human’s responsibility for climate change. Click here to watch the film. For those not fluent with the climate change debate (also referred to as global warming), it is widely believed that the rise in carbon dioxide emissions is one of the largest contributors to our changing climate. Carbon dioxide is emitted when we do things such as produce electricity from coal, drive and make plastic. “The Great Global Warming Swindle” never asserts climate change is not occurring; rather it convincingly argues that a link does not exist between climate change and carbon emissions. Thus, the role we can play in stopping or reversing climate change is radically less than popular propaganda would have us believe.

Since Al Gore appears to understand the “climate crisis” so well, I’d argue it’s highly probable that he is aware of this data and believes it. This explains why he has done so little to personally to reduce his “carbon footprint”, especially in relation to the comforts of home (and a two year $30,000 gas and electric bill and a pool buys you comforts!). Does the persona of environmental crusader promise him enough notoriety (and potentially a second bid at the White House) that he is unwilling to “out” the true facts, and the potentially even scarier truth, that personal responsibility isn’t enough to reverse the impending climate changes? If so, what does this say about Al Gore the man?

Maybe President Bush isn’t as dim as he’s been publicly portrayed, especially on the subject of climate change. Say he also believes that carbon dioxide emissions are not linked to a changing climate and is therefore equally unconcerned. So why his sustainable home? I’d imagine in his role as President of the United States he is privy to a lot of information that the rest of us aren’t; such as doomsday scenarios. There are dwindling resources worldwide and gaps in our country’s internal and external security as well as disaster planning and readiness. What better place to be if our country’s infrastructure collapses than at home secluded on hundreds of acres with animal herds, vast amounts of security (or at least guns) and sustainable water and energy supplies. Makes you wonder, just what DOES he know?

If carbon dioxide emissions aren’t responsible for climate change, it sheds some light on the seemingly contradictory private versus public behavior of both Al Gore and President Bush. It also raises some very scary questions, questions I’m almost too afraid to ask. What aren’t they telling us? And why?

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Are celebrities worshiped by our culture because they are the story tellers of modern times? Parables, stories and even myths are a meaningful technique to communicate lessons and knowledge in a deep and lasting way. Similar to ancient cultures, our culture loves a good story and we give our story tellers a special place in our hearts. Unfortunately, this reverence may be severely misplaced.

Stories have and continue to play an important role in societies. A story engages our emotions, allowing us to better internalize the message of that story. They have the power to convey wisdom at a deeper level than simply disseminating the message concisely.

If a film, book or song is meaningful, it has a timeless quality, just like the stories of our ancestors. In tribal cultures the same story is passed from generation to generation. We still practice this tradition. How else would you explain the countless remakes of Romeo and Juliet? Or better yet, the movies that have the same theme and just slightly different storylines. For example, the novella The Heart of Darkness, the movie Apocalypse Now and the corresponding soundtrack all stem from the same root story (or for some real fun, click here to see a list of just how influential The Heart of Darkness has been).

In tribal cultures we used to gather in a common space to hear stories. These communal spaces have moved to the movie theater, our televisions or our radios. We no longer sit around a large fire to discuss these stories, instead we gather around a water cooler to trade song lyrics or story lines from last night’s reality show.

Finally, similar to tribal cultures we hold our storytellers in a very high regard. In ancient cultures the storytellers were some of the wisest tribe members. They not only understood the wisdom behind the story, they could tell it in a meaningful and engaging manner. In modern day, this is not true. The actors and singers are often just mouthpieces for writers, they do not necessarily understand the story at a deep level. However, we as a society often fail to recognize this. Celebrities are used as models for living in the false belief that they have achieved a higher level of thinking.

It is when we watch celebrities self destruct that we begin to glimpse the truth. They have not attained the wisdom we thought they had, they were characters in stories, not the story. Is it possible that someday we will not worship them, and rather turn to our culture’s true storytellers for knowledge? Honestly, I do not believe so, but it does not hurt to hope.

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What?!? You’re tired? How much sleep did you get last night? How about the night before? If you answered not much, you are not alone, 70 percent of the United States adult population qualify as “sleep deprived”. We are a country where bragging rights are won based on how few hours of sleep a person can function on. What does a country look like when most of its citizens (and children) are constantly tired?

First, let’s start with the facts. Sleep is essential. It boosts the immune system, aids neural processing (makes you smarter), and increases motor skills. More interesting, people think and problem solve when they sleep. Nobel laureate Otto Loewi gained inspiration for his design for the chemical basis of neurotransmission during a realization made while he was, well…sleeping! Recent studies reveal there are links between sleep and insight formation, as well as sleep and memory consolidation. On the other hand, not getting adequate sleep may lead to obesity, psychosis, depression, anxiety and a host of other mental disorders.

Knowing all this, why do we deny we need sleep? Some even extend this philosophy to their newborns, where the babies are intentionally kept awake, and out of deep sleep, in order to get them “on a schedule”. Why would depriving newborns of sleep, responsible for specific brain functions and development, ever be considered an acceptable idea? I have no idea. Not all countries live like this. In many countries even the adults take mid-day naps. I can only wonder at the difference in demeanor of their citizens.

Back to the question of what a country comprised of a bunch of sleep deprived citizens looks like. I have decided it is pretty much as you would expect. People are angry, aggressive, short tempered and half-awake. They survive on caffeine and fight to stay awake throughout the day, during meetings and even while driving. In fact, numerous studies compare the effects of driving while tired to driving while intoxicated. Obesity rates are soaring, memories are impaired, people are getting sicker and mental disorders are on the rise. I am not claiming that all the problems you are facing are due to sleep deprivation, but I’m also not proposing that many are not. How would it be diagnosed? By the very doctors who also are sleep deprived?

Let me challenge you, and myself, to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night this week. If you are serious, I found a nifty sleep diary to track the amount of sleep you get. Click here for the diary. Will you feel different after consecutive nights of adequate sleep? Can you get that spring back in your step that you have lost somewhere along the way? Will you have energy for the things you really care about? I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how much a few extra hours of sleep can change everything.

“…one of the most significant and overlooked public health problems…is that many adults are chronically sleep deprived, [and] most people who are sleep deprived do not even realize it.”
- American Psychological Association