Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Younger
Posted in Contests and Memes on December 10th, 2007 by JennyA friend of mine, Jason Ivers, asked me what I would tell my younger self if I had the opportunity. This was a great question, causing me to stop and think. Funny enough I realized that the present me could still use a talking to on a couple of these points, so here’s what I would say…
- Life is not meant to be hard. If it is that is a sure clue that you are doing something wrong or forcing yourself down a path you are not meant to travel - this applies to love, career and all else.
- Hard is very different than challenging, boring or even scary. It is important to properly identify what you are feeling so as to respond accordingly.
- No one alive expects nearly as much from you as you do. Lighten up and do what you love. Perfect doesn’t exist. Work for progress not perfection.
- Small things done consistently matter much more than the largest or grandest gesture. This especially holds true when it comes to money, relationships and goals.
- When you get confused about other’s intentions or feelings stop listening to what they say and instead watch what they do (hint: this also applies to yourself as well!).
Although I wish I’d known these (and other) things when I was much younger I’ve had a great time figuring them out! Both Erin and I would be interested in hearing what you would tell your younger self.
Related Posts:
How to Live a Miserable, Failure Ridden Life
Keeping Perspective When You’ve Bitten Off More Than You Can Chew
December 10th, 2007 at 6:50 am
Your blog always offers refreshing ideas. Its relatively easy to judge past choices and who you used to be based on who you are now and what you think you know. I like the idea of evolving to love, forgive and accept everything about oneself at this moment. For myself, what matters is to recondition my sense of satisfaction and to rise above feelings in “the now.”
December 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am
It’s annoying knowing that you’re too hard on yourself, yet not really knowing how to stop, isn’t it?
Thanks for responding to me
December 10th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
I really wouldn’t know how to respond to that. If I were faced with that question, my answer would be “You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this time.” As my aunt says “If things were different, things’d be different”.
While it is tempting to think about going back with a whole bunch of knowledge and tools, that kind of ignores the beauty and wonder of where we are now. Could I have brought about a “better” result? Maybe. Perhaps probably. However, I like where I am and who I am too much to want to change what has been, no matter how dark and painful the path may have been in places.
So in the end I think I’m saying much the same thing as Liara, just coming from different angles.
December 11th, 2007 at 10:36 am
That’s pretty much what I said in my original article on my site, John… I wouldn’t change anything, but there are a few things that certainly would have made life easier had I known them when I was younger.
I like where I am now, though, so I wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to change something even if I could.
December 11th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
John and Jason - I feel pretty much the same especially as I can be a wee bit hardheaded so probably wouldn’t of listened even to myself! :p That’s ok though because I’m at peace with my life.
Liara - I agree it is very easy to look back and see how things could of been different (including onself) but not very useful most times unless a pattern worth examining starts to emerge.
December 13th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Very thought-provoking, Jenny. And very valuable advice to my younger self as well!
I visited all the other entries as well from over at A Miracle A Day, and they all make sense. When I thought about it, I discovered that I would only really tell myself two things. Posted today at http://pippasporch.blogspot.com/2007/12/what-i-would-tell-my-younger-self.html
Thanks for the inspiration! And I agree: it is when we are able to see the patterns that we start to become aware of the things we need to learn. Even when these patterns involve pain, still I find it beautiful that life functions in patterns at all. Wow!
December 21st, 2007 at 6:01 am
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December 30th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year! May your experiences continue to uplife and energize you. All experience is what you choose to make and get out of it.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I came across this blog and enjoyed your article. Thanks
March 31st, 2008 at 10:51 am
Genuinely very smart advice for anybody at any time of life. I think this should be printed on laminated cards in 237 different languages and distributed to all Earthlings
March 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Thanks so much Cornelius and Island1! You make me want to write again… :p Thanks.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
You will be most comfortable doing things that you have done before. If you give in to that I think you will never do anything new.
Life can be as easy or as difficult as you want it to be, but I think you will find that easy equates to boring and unfruitful.
Obviously if you aren’t getting any reciprocity from a love interest then its time to move on, but to sit at home because it feels easier is not a good response. That’s just giving in to fear.
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
You make some good points except i disagree with the first. Nietzsche said that true happiness comes from extreme hardships. (I’m paraphrasing)… Think of how great you feel after studying hard for a test or writing a paper and the moment it is completed, or yurning for that man/women for days, weeks or months and then finally going out on a date with them.
NOTE… of course Nietzsche died in an insane asylum and suffered from deep depression…
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Life is not meant to be hard? No one alive expects nearly as much from you as you do? Even though I have been around for a while, these are new to me (have to smile).
However, very interesting thoughts and I certainly have to think about it… On first glance it sounds very positive and might give one some new insights into being…
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I just stumbled on your blog. It’s wonderful! This particular question was a lot harder to answer than I thought it would be. I mean, how many times have we said, “If I’d have known then what I know now…”? Anyway, here’s what I would tell me. I’m glad I thought about it and wrote it down because, in a way, I did tell that part of me that needed to hear it.
1. No matter what happens to you, you will always be worthy of better things.
2. The person you think you are, is not who you are destined to be. Allow yourself to grow, to expand, to evolve, to spread your wings and fly.
3. Don’t ever be ashamed of the person you think others want you to be. Be who you are and know that you’re extraordinary.
4. Write. Constantly.
5. Remember those fantasies and dreams of the “perfect man” and the “perfect relationship? It’s not an illusion nor is it something you are simply allowing your mind to entertain you with. Fairytales exist… keep believing.
6. Family, true family, is not a thing you are born into. It is the people that you surround yourself with. People who love the real you, faults and all. People that accept you and care for you when you cannot accept or care for yourself.
7. Go to college!
8. I’m proud of you. Thank you for allowing me to be who I am today.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
One thing and one thing only.
Its just a rash, you didn’t get an STD from making out in 8th grade.
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 am
Some Things You Wish You’d Known When You Were Younger…
While nothing can actually beat personal experience, life is really too short to reinvent wheels half the time. This applies to technical and professional issues as much as it does in the personal development field.
……
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:03 am
Rule 1 - You’re not as important as you think you are
Rule 2 - you’ll be saying “want fries with that?” until yo’re 50 unless you get a good education
Rule 3 - Sex is not as much fun as the media would have you believe :p
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Your list seems designed to promote mediocrity and a lack of ambition.
April 8th, 2008 at 6:38 am
I really liked your blog. It’s very useful, but presented in a light manner, so although you learn a lot you don’t get the feeling that you’re studying a textbook.
April 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
[…] came across a blog post today - Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Younger. The point was this: if you had the opportunity, what would the present you tell the younger you? […]