Searching for the Truth
Posted in Things I Don't Understand on November 21st, 2007 by JennyWhat is truth? Can it change? If so, how can something that is not constant be true? Are words, emotions or promises lies if they felt true when spoken, yet in hindsight they may not have been? How, when confused and possibly even living a lie, can one recognize the truth and harder yet, tell the truth?
The faster or further you grow the more bumpy, exciting and rewarding the ride - and the quicker truths can change. Perhaps you find that the truth is shifting monthly, weekly or in spurts daily. Remember when you left home for the first time? Maybe it was to summer camp, a coveted vacation with a friend‘s family or for college. Think back to the excitement and edge of fear you felt in anticipation, the first few days or weeks when everything was great - absolutely wonderful - and then remember the moment when you realized that something just wasn’t right. Food wasn’t cooked right at summer camp, your friend’s family had a very different (and not “normal‘) way of communicating that often involved loud, excited voices, your new professors challenge your very foundations with new thoughts and knowledge. What you thought was foundational basic truths about how life was, wasn’t. Your view of the world began to shift often radically and in unexpected ways.
When this is happening what should you do? Do you tell your friend that their family sucks and you want to go home or your own family that you’d rather hear loud opinionated voices than silence when they are upset? Do you stop taking courses that made you feel stupid or challenged the beliefs you were taught since childhood or embrace them? How much truth should you tell and who do you tell it to? It’s easy to start to doubt such a thing as the truth even exists or that you can ever know the truth about anything, particularly about yourself.
Is it possible to follow many of the ideals of self development during a time of rapid personal growth? It is difficult to practice congruency if you are unsure about what the truth is and isn’t. It is even more difficult to be honest in your relationships when you are unsure of what is true or when it is rapidly or regularly changing. It can be particularly problematic to honor your word or commitments or continue on a path you’ve started down because you are concerned that it will appear dishonest to others to change course based on what you’ve previously said or believed.
Can one really hope for more than good intentions and openness in any relationship whether it be with yourself or another? Is expecting absolute and total honesty a trap to either fall into or to catch others with? Perhaps truth during a time of growth does not exist instead truth is something that is fluid and viewing it in any other manner is complete and utter folly. Is self-development at it’s core a struggle to find and maintain the truth of one’s life, beliefs, relationships, words and actions?
Questions like these are and should be fundamental to personal growth. Growth by its very nature entails change - change of boundaries, of scenery, of relationships, of beliefs and much more. As one grows their understanding of the world does as well and this new understanding brings new questions and honestly further uncertainty. That’s okay, uncertainty is good. It means you’re learning and growing…
Related Posts:
Why Isn’t Enough Ever Enough?
Just the Facts
Tell the Truth
November 21st, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Btw, when I was thinking about this I was also trying to figure out how the rapid growth and change found in culture, science and technology also informs our perceptions of truth. Particularly if you layer it atop of a person in the process of self-growth. Growth all around…confusing thing.
PS. We’re working on fixing that silly error msg. Sorry about that!
November 22nd, 2007 at 8:20 am
There’s personal truth & universal truth. Personal truth is more changeable & hopefully aligned with universal truth. Contemplating whether universal principles ever evolve may be a bit too much here, but the truth science discovers, or the truth of a nation may change & develop.
Gratitude or thanksgiving is a universal practice that benefits anyone who chooses it as a premise to live by. How one goes about it is personal. What each person is grateful for, or any customs around it are personal & cultural. So even if personal truth is aligned with the universal, there’s still individuality.
If further condensed, many people are eating turkey today. Many are eating a non-flesh meal. Everyone is still practicing gratitude (or gluttony
).
Emotionally what was once true may not always be so. If this is arbitrary then people around you may feel you’re inconsistent. If it sources in your values, then it becomes evolving personal truth.
A lie always feels off, to the person living it or to the person receiving it. At the same time hammering someone with truth doesn’t always work either.
We are living expressions of universal truth in action. And there is unity in variety. We all want to be happy, healthy & pain-free.
November 22nd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Hi Jenny - I’m so glad you are back! And what a wonderfully complex article to come back with. I’ll admit these discussions are not easy for me to digest and sometimes I need to re-read them several times, but I always come away with a feeling that I’ve been enlightened in some way. Thanks for providing me an avenue for personal growth. I really treasure your writings. Love, Jo
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Wow, what a post!
After these excellent posts, there’s not much that I can contribute, so I’m going to give my acid test for truth: If it comes from the heart, it’s true. It may not be fact, and it may not be what comes from your heart tomorrow, but it is the truth at this time. Since “now” is all there is, trying to be true to a version of yourself that isn’t “now” is automatically self-defeating.
And, yes, I’m going to blatantly steal from Shakespeare:
This above all — to thine ownself be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet (Polonius, Act I, scene iii)
Be true to who you are and let the rest flow from that.
November 23rd, 2007 at 6:15 pm
What an uplifting series of reflections! The “truth” is whatever you choose to think and believe. You can also choose to believe someone else’s idea o “the truth.” Your mission and the nature of your relationships are whatever you decide they will be. You invite interactions with people that echo the kinds of emotions you generate inside yourself. Impermanence and change are always predictable. Decide whether this will be in truly uplifting directions.
November 23rd, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Pamir,
I really like what you said -
“Emotionally what was once true may not always be so. If this is arbitrary then people around you may feel you’re inconsistent. If it sources in your values, then it becomes evolving personal truth.”
Something to think about.
Thanks Jo!
Aw John, great quote. Perfectly fitting!
Liara, you also gave me a sentence to muse on. “You invite interactions with people that echo the kinds of emotions you generate inside yourself. ” Thank you so much for all of your wonderful insights.
November 25th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Hey Jenny, you know this is one of the biggest questions we can ask ourselves on this crazy journey called life!
I have no answers or insights, but I’m sure uncertainty is a good thing - and I thank you and Erin for always sharing your uncertainty with us.
Liara, I agree with the statement Jenny quoted above - I notice this a lot in my own life.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Jenny, as far as I can tell, the path of personal development IS the search for truth… for expanding awareness of that which surrounds us. As that awareness expands, what once seemed certain may waver, or even become obviously false.
Lies are related to the truth, but only indirectly. Nothing that you say is a lie unless you know it to be untrue (or at least know that it may not be the truth). As long as you believed it when you said it, it wasn’t a lie… it may not have been the truth, but it wasn’t a lie.
That’s a fine line, and one that is often confused and blurry, but no less important for being blurry.
November 26th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Jason,
Still puzzling over your sentence “Lies are related to the truth, but only indirectly.” Care to say a bit more?
November 27th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Lies are only indirectly related to the truth because you are only lying if you know (or possibly if you strongly suspect) that you are not telling the truth… if you have no reason to doubt the truth of what you’re saying you may be wrong, but you’re not lying.
Lying requires an active intent to deceive. That means it’s only indirectly related to the truth… because not only does it have to be untruthful, but it has to be intentionally so.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:23 am
I sense “untruths” are intentional and/ or unintentional. Whether or not individuals have the courage to accept they lie to themselves or whether they choose to examine the reasons why they lie, is all worthy of reflection.
Its is said that each soul is born with intention and a sense of purpose. Yet, many people get wrapped up with the ego-mind. This distracts them from what they know deep inside. To reconnect with your Higher self is the key.
Emotions are like a gauge. Your feelings offer signs as to whether or not you are happy with yourself, your thoughts and behaviors. Succombing to any negative feelings can be seen to indicate that you are lying to yourself about what you really desire, which is linked to a spectrum of unconditional love and forgiveness.
December 6th, 2007 at 11:46 am
This is a GREAT article Jenny. Thank you for writing this, it certainly inspiures me and gives me some good ideas…
Todd
December 8th, 2007 at 1:32 am
In re-reading this blog thread, what stands out for me is the power of honesty in self-reflection. Whenever we permit our thoughts and emotions to flow freely, we learn a lot more than when we teach ourselves to hold back, to repress our true feelings or ignore our inner voice. Asking questions is part of the process. Thanks for your reminding readers that its healthy to be open-minded about whatever happens and whenever in life.
December 9th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Thanks Todd and Liara! Appreciate your comments and you.