Understanding Courage
Posted in Values and Virtues on September 24th, 2007 by Erin DietrichCourage takes many forms. From the person who rushes into a burning building to save another to the individual who speaks up for what they believe. Courage can be divided into two types; something I call reflex courage and life courage. Reflex courage encompasses the quick acts of courage that are done without much thinking. This courage takes over and we act, often before we even realize what we are doing. When the 35W bridge in Minneapolis collapsed, for example, there were many heroes who rushed onto the bridge to save others. This is reflex courage. The individual rarely sits and evaluates their options, rather they just rush in courageously.
The second type of courage, the one that intrigues me, is life courage. This courage we can all practice daily and requires more thought and planning. Life courage has the power to transform each of us in a deep and lasting way. To cultivate life courage one must truly examine themselves, their life and act accordingly. There are several steps to this courage:
First, the action, decision or event must be examined honestly. This is the most difficult step as most of us have learned the fine art of qualifying things with layers of self deception. Pulling aside these layers of self-deception is usually quite painful and scary, as we put up many blinders to avoid seeing the truth. The first step of life courage asks one to truly understand and accept their motivations.
Once one has an understanding of the current situation, the second step of courage requires examining all of the possible choices and outcomes honestly. Again the layers of self deception must be navigated, this time to understand what possible outcomes may actually hold, not what we wish or hope them to be. It is important to avoid placing judgment on these outcomes, rather use them to gain knowledge of what is truly important to us and ascertain whether our life is being lived in accordance to the deepest core of our beliefs and values.
The third step of courage is action. After one has honestly examined all options, it is time to chose an action. This might mean sticking ones neck out, apologizing, changing directions, committing to helping another or allowing ourselves to experience joy without judgment. The most important part of this step is that any action is directly tied to an understanding and acceptance of one’s motivations, whether they are noble or embarrassing.
Lastly, to fully achieve life courage one must own their words and deeds. At this point it is important to trust oneself and be accountable for the consequences of ones individual acts of courage. One must not feel obligated to apologize for themselves, look for a scapegoat or undermine their actions because they do not fit a preconceived image of the person you should be. Being fully held accountable is the true nature of courage.
I have had times of reflex courage, but the times I have experienced deep and meaningful life courage are relatively few. I can count these instances on a single hand. As I grow, in both age and wisdom, I am watching this change.
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Understanding the Daunting Goals
Challenging Our Mental Maps
September 25th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Thanks Erin for your thoughtful post. You hit the nail on the head when you speak of self-deception. We all experience some degree of self-deception and you are right, it takes courage to peel back the layers and let go of the false.
I also like what you said about life courage and that we must own our words and actions. I think that way of inspiration; that we receive inner insights and direction and that it is our highest responsibility to follow that. Anything less is a resistance to life as it unfolds before us.
September 25th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Thanks for you comment Greg. Great point about inspiration.
September 25th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
I think the easiest ways to lessen our self-deception is
To lighten up and stop taking ourselves so seriously… curiosity about ourselves and fellow human beings is a lot more fun than fault finding and finger pointing.
To become more loving and compassionate to ourselves and others…see We Don’t Have to Be Perfect and Loving Imperfection. I find this approach to be liberating. Whenever I start falling into the “I’m not good enough” trap, I think of Jessie the Hippo, linked to in Loving Imperfection. It just warms my heart.
September 25th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
You can learn about courage from people you admire or by examples in books you read. Yet, no matter how much you learn from outside yourself, how many people you know, the greatest exercise in courage may well be learning to take risks in your own life. Only then do you know the anticipation, the exhileration, and other feelings and sensations that define it.
September 26th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Well said Erin. Life courage is something I’ve been working on over the past year or so too. It’s certainly a different way to live than what I’ve seen many people around me display.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Actually, what you call reflex courage is something you have to work on every day, too. That kind of courage doesn’t just spring up on its own, it is a direct result of your beliefs and the way you live your life.
Love and courage are both things that you have to build… true love and true courage take effort, but are worth every iota.
September 27th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Nice distinction between reflex courage & life courage. Not sure if there needs to be too many instances of life courage. It’s more of a continuous thread. Like words & actions, courage must first be owned. If it can be awakened in a real, loving, inner way, courage stays. And it is the first step before change of any kind, especially personal transformation.
So much of the time, much needed change doesn’t happen because courage isn’t shown to look clearly, deeply & without self-deception. Fear & the familiar is easier! No one shows up in their life, fully present & self-responsible without that bravery.
Once it’s a quality you own, it’s like bamboo…flexible but unbreakable.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:40 am
I wonder what the ramifications of using the “wrong” type of courage for a situation might be. For example, you are given a situation in life that requires thought and understanding. Rather than approaching it with life courage you take quick action and use reflex courage. I know there are the incidences when the opposite occurs too. I realize I must have left out a prelude step to both types of courage which would be assessing what approach to take.
Liara, I agree that the best way to harness courage is to have successes in one’s own life. Those steps, especially the first big ones, can be very intimidating. I have found without regular practice, progress towards cultivating courage in one’s one life can decline. I can think of years where almost everything I did was amazingly courageous and vice versa. Like most powers, it seems to build of itself.
Jason, yes, I suppose you need to work on reflex courage daily. However, many of us aren’t typically faced with incidences that need reflex courage. I suppose visualization can help, but difficult when you are unsure what you are going to encounter.
Pamir, I hadn’t thought of life courage as a continuous thread, but you do have a point. To create this thread, however, would you argue you have to consciously go through the self awareness steps for each thread? ie I’m going to be honest, is this a conscious step? Then does it become a habit or is every instance courage? Would this actually fit in a seperate category?
October 1st, 2007 at 11:55 am
You misunderstood me. I’m not saying you do things to practice reflex courage daily. I’m saying you work on it daily by being the kind of person who has it. You have to have the beliefs that cause you to have that courage, and you have to live your life according to those beliefs.
Reflex courage doesn’t come in a moment, it comes over a lifetime. It’s just the visible expression that is displayed in a moment.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Jason, hmm, okay I see where you are going with this. I would argue it doesn’t necessarily come over a lifetime. For example, when one is younger they often have a stronger sense of reflex courage because they may not have as much to “lose” (family, career, etc). Often, as people become more rooted in life, or hesistant in their abilities, this courage fades. Yes, with time we can build it up and consciously focus on doing so, however, to say it grows over a lifetime may not always be true.
October 1st, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Erin, perhaps thread wasn’t the best word. I simply meant that authentic ‘life’ courage once awakened & established simply becomes part of you, never to leave. It becomes core & is always present no matter what life brings. It’s beyond habit, becoming part of the fabric of your being. A central resource, worldview, core value, spring of all actions.
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
You actually have what I mean backwards. What I’m saying is that if you want to be sure that you have reflex courage when it counts, you have to live your life in a way that builds up that courage all the time, not just in that moment.
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Jason, okay I see what you are saying. What kind of things do you think help build reflex courage?
Pamir, very nicely said. I think many people have thought they found life courage, only to turn the corner and have it gone. I don’t know if I believe life courage never leaves. I think it’s more like learning calculus, if you don’t practice and utilize your skills often, they fade.
October 4th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Doing the right thing even when it’s hard… being your true self no matter who you’re around or what circumstances you’re in right now… letting go of the walls that you build because you’re scared of being hurt… stepping up to the plate when you’re called, not avoiding or delaying… there are a lot of things that contribute to it, but they all sort of boil down to one thing: teach yourself to always respond with internal honesty and integrity. When you do that, when that becomes the way that you ALWAYS respond, there is no hesitation when a new circumstance comes up (requiring reflex courage), because there is no wavering on what your response will be… you already know, both consciously and at a deeper level.
And in all honesty, that’s exactly the same thing that teaches you life courage. Once you learn to ALWAYS, every single time, respond according to who you really are, there is no alternative to courage. It’s only when you sometimes are untrue to yourself that doubt and fear creep in, and the more often you are untrue to yourself, the more and the easier those two things work their way into your life.
I think I’m going to write an article on that soon… that really came from deep, deep down inside of me.
October 9th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
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