Encountering Something New
AKA What the Hell Was Wrong With Me?
Posted in Miscellaneous, Personal Development on September 17th, 2007
by Jenny
Have you ever experienced a moment where time seems to stand still? Where you were able to think clearly, but were unable to take action? Where the outcome seemed inevitable? A couple of weeks ago I had an experience like this that stands out in my mind. As you you read this you might start wondering, so what? Great! This is my point exactly as I think that is how we feel about most of the cumulative moments that shape us, that are responsible for creating our mental maps and our views of the world.
I was running some errands in my car in the heart of the city on a beautiful day. I came to a complete stop at a stop light and began looking around to take in the splendor of the day. The sun was shining, my music was playing and the windows were down. I began checking out all the people around me - the guy in the car next to me who seemed unhappy about something, a nondescript lady waiting at the bus stop, a guy with streaming dreadlocks riding his bike my way while turned around watching a especially attractive woman walk by. My attention seemed drawn to the guy on the bike and I turned to look again.
Slowly it dawned on me this bike rider was so fixated on the woman he was eyeing he didn’t realize he had just glided through a busy intersection. Then it dawned on me that he was headed straight towards me! Hmmm, I thought, he’s biking pretty fast that the impact is really going to hurt him and possibly do some serious damage to both him and his bike. He wouldn’t hit me, would he? I tilted my head and pondered this a bit more and noticed the nondescript bus lady was also watching the events unfold with the same disbelief. I then glanced and watched the grumpy man’s anger turning to concern as it dawned on him what was about to happen. We all just sat and watched in disbelief as I silently pondered the probability of the biker hitting my vehicle. Then, with less than 2 feet left to impact, the biker turned around and swerved so rapidly that he nearly hit a parked car but he didn’t hit me.
What the heck, I sat there and watched a guy nearly collide with me in a head-on collision? Yes, he would have been hurt and I bet he would of wrecked my windshield and I didn’t do anything except watch. I could have yelled or honked, but did not a thing. Neither did anyone else.
Why? I think it was because it was so outside what I expected that I became stuck in observation mode. I had no previous experiences to guide my actions and since I did not seem in danger my fight of flight responses did not kick in. I certainly would of known what to do if my vehicle was moving (stop or swerve) or if I was biking (pay attention to where I was riding and gradually change my path to avoid parked vehicles). That afternoon however, I didn’t know what to do. My mind did not guide me, instead it played the role of silent observer, a role that would of brought me much discomfort if the biker had hit my vehicle and gotten hurt. I would of felt guilt and confusion over my complete lack of response as, I image, would of the others who watched this near accident unfold with perplexed looks on their faces.
Just what was this inability to respond? Was I getting the chance to see first hand just how perceptions and beliefs are formed? How they are directly tied to my actions? A striking demonstration as to how my future choices and decisions and even perceptions of the world would forever be changed in a small but very memorable moment? I think so…
Related Posts:
Challenging Our Mental Maps
How Your Mind Really Works, Steve Pavlina over at Steve Pavlina.com
Changing Beliefs: Instantaneous or Gradual?, Mark Lapierre over at The Winding Path
Learn How to See Your Own Rose-Colored Glasses, Jason Ivers over at A Miracle a Day
September 17th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I read somewhere recently that experiments have shown that some voluntary motor actions (such as honking a horn), that we experience as conscious decisions to respond to an external stimulus, actually happen in a different order when externally observed - that the action occurs before the neurological activity associated with making the choice.
I think it’s at least possible that what you remember as having sat idly by and watched an event that you could have prevented may actually have occurred quite differently. Maybe your brain hadn’t completely prepared your horn-honking reflex (instead, say, having to wonder about what to do) in time to make a difference for the cyclist, but in hindsight you remember it as sitting and watching passively.
I had a similar feeling several months ago while watching one car plow into the side of another on a nearby highway. I remember seeing it as if the whole thing happened in slow motion. I doubt that I could have done anything from my vantage point to prevent the accident, but the fact that I had to think about what (if anything) I should do prevented me from reacting in time.
It seems that whenever I use the horn on my car, I always wind up honking too late to do any good.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Sometimes people forget that time as we know it is a human invention. Thus, time, as you describe it, can seem to “stand still” anytime you choose to view things this way.
It is the choice of many people to live a life of hustle bustle where they always say they don’t have enought time. If you would like to experience a different sort of existence, choose instead to repeat and consciously believe that you have more than enough time. You’ll be pleasantly surprised about how your perspective changes.
September 18th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Sometimes your mind just becomes disconnected, like you said. You assume the role of observer, so that it’s not really your life, and so there’s nothing to do. Yelling, when you are in that mode, is perceived like yelling at a movie… it’s not going to have any effect on the action/outcome, so why do it?
Basically, you stop perceiving your body as you. You are outside, and so the “you” that you are perceiving at the moment is nothing but an observer, not affecting the observed.
That means that you are creating internal division by blaming yourself for not yelling, or honking, or whatever, at a time when who you perceived yourself to be was not actually capable of doing so. Your body was not you, so how could “you” have done something that required its use?
I’m aware that may sound as clear as mud, but I hope that you understand what I’m talking about…. it’s hard to describe in words.
September 18th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I tend to be an observer, so I would be one of the ones looking in horror and not doing anything. I’m wondering if my husband would have honked. He’s a great, alert driver, but I’ve never seen him honk the horn. Without that previous experience, would he have reacted in time? It seems to me this must be related to habits. The conscious mind is much too slow in a situation like that.
September 18th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
There are also times when our emotions override our reasoned decision-making ability. It’s the often forgotten ‘freeze’ part of the fight/flight/freeze response, which isn’t necessarily triggered by only a fear-inducing event, but by any event which evokes sufficiently strong emotions.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:12 am
That was a really interesting description of what went on in your mind while you were waiting for the light to change. It reminds me of what happened many years ago while I was waiting for the light to change. I was on my way to pick up someone from work and I sat there, waiting for the green light. Suddenly I saw a car trying to make a left turn into my street but while he was doing that, I saw another car from the opposite direction hit this guy as he made his premature turn. The result of that impact hit me. I just sat there, watching everything unfold but did nothing.
Very interesting!
Stephen
September 19th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
I think, Mark, that such a thing can happen when your conscious and subconscious get stuck in a feedback loop… the emotion is strong enough that your subconscious says your conscious mind needs to handle it, but your conscious mind is overwhelmed with emotion and says “I can’t handle this” and tries to shove it off to the subconscious, which tries to pass it back, etc.
This sets up what is essentially decision paralysis… your “whole” mind, conscious and subconscious combined, can’t even decide which part is going to decide what to do.
I believe it’s different than what Jenny described, though similar in effect.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
By the way, I just noticed that you linked to one of my articles in your related posts… thank you! What a nice vote of confidence/appreciation.
September 20th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Jeff, if you ever find that article I’d be interested in seeing it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Liara, as Erin and I have been walking I’ve started to realize just how strange the concept of time really is. Some days on the trail the first 5 miles feel like they take 10 hours while other days at mile 15 I can’t believe we’re nearly done. Having no need to be anyplace at any particular time those days as well as not wearing a watch or usually even being sure how far we’ve walked is a strange feeling.
Jason and Jean - ughh, that conscious/subconscious mind division…a lot to think about. Sometimes I think I liked it better when I thought I was in control of/responsible for everything that happened to me. It’s frustrating to know forces I have little to no awareness of play such a large role in my life.
Mark said “It’s the often forgotten ‘freeze’ part of the fight/flight/freeze response…” yah, so forgotten I don’t even remember being aware of it! :p
Hey Stephen, thanks for stopping by and commenting!
September 20th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Speaking of time, the strangest time related occurrence in my past was this:
I was driving to National Guard duty with my friend sleeping in the passenger seat (he belonged, also). We were going to be late… about half an hour late, and when you’re that far off there’s nothing you can really do about it. I stopped looking at the clock and just kept driving… it was a long drive. Anyway, I looked at the clock again about 25-30 miles later. Don’t ask me how, but it was only 3 minutes later than the last time I had looked.
And while you can say I looked at it wrong the first time, I had been looking at it regularly since we left, and we were consistently about half an hour behind where we should have been… but we actually arrived there on time.
One of the strangest, and neatest, things I can remember.
PS - Unfortunately, that friend died recently… only 30 years old.
September 20th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
“…ughh, that conscious/subconscious mind division…a lot to think about. Sometimes I think I liked it better when I thought I was in control of/responsible for everything that happened to me. It’s frustrating to know forces I have little to no awareness of play such a large role in my life.”
I learned long ago that my puny conscious mind couldn’t control very much. Fortunately it had the good grace to accept the situation and make friends with the subconscious. I took a workshop once where a woman said the subconscious was like a dog and the conscious mind was the master. Yeah, sure. Not for me it’s not. That may seem to contradict what I wrote in A Habit Is Just a Habit and Reprogramming Our Robot Minds, but trust me, no habit gets changed without the approval of my subconscious.
Is this a literal description of what happens? It doesn’t matter, it’s a powerful metaphor that works for me. Fun stuff. Thanks for talking about one of my favorite subjects.
Jean Browman
Cheerful Monk
Transforming Stress Into Personal Power
September 20th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Your conscious mind gives direction to your subconscious, but like a dog, your subconscious can sometimes require extensive training in order to behave the way you want. Your subconscious mind isn’t capable of giving approval… it just does what it has been trained to do.
By the way, I should mention that there is the subconscious mind, the conscious mind, and a state that is somewhere in-between… most people group it with the subconscious, but I prefer to think of there being a surface conscious and subsurface conscious. The difference is that you attempt to hide the subsurface from your own consciousness, but it’s still there and training your subconscious.
An example is where you are consciously attempting to do something, but on the subsurface you want to fail, even though you don’t admit it to yourself.
September 20th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I learned to have a lot of respect for my subconscious mind as a physics major at Stanford. After our first year, every problem set would contain a couple of problems that required a flash of insight to solve. Most of the students just couldn’t solve them, but some of us could. I invariably got them, but not until the night before the set was due. Then I would go to bed thinking about the problems and be woken up in the middle of the night by an idea. I would get up and do the math to see if the idea worked. Usually the answer was no the first few times, so I would go back to sleep until the next idea came.
It was a frustrating process, but also exciting, so that’s why after I graduated I went into creative problem solving, writing software for scientific research. Whenever I had the chance I would pick projects that no one else could do, and one of my goals was to learn to trust the process, even when I had the inevitable deadlines.
So, my guess is if you asked most creative people if they think the conscious mind trains their subconscious, they would say no. I, for one, try to give my subconscious the best environment for creating. I do not try to micromanage.
Jean Browman
Cheerful Monk
Transforming Stress Into Personal Power
September 20th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
PS How does the distinction between subsurface consciousness and the subconscious work out in your life, Jason? Most people, of course, say if it’s out of our conscious awareness, then it’s subconscious. These are all metaphors, so what’s the power of your version?
September 20th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
The subsurface is something that you are intentionally hiding from yourself. If you take the time, and it does require time, to deal with all of your own inner issues, and keep that up, then the subsurface is mostly quiet.
I assume that if you actually manage to deal with ALL of your issues, the subsurface is empty… but I haven’t reached that point yet, so I’m not sure. I know that it is much emtpiER since I’ve resolved the majority of my biggest issues, and I feel that this will continue, but I have no real way of knowing for certain until I reach that point.
And the power lies in distinguishing between things that you ARE choosing, consciously, but “hiding” from your surface, the part where you put things into more concrete concepts and words. The fact that it is in your conscious mind, though, means that it has the power to set your patterns for your subconscious to follow… which makes it far more dangerous than your actual subconscious, which merely follows what it has been trained to do.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
By the way, Jenny/Erin… your site takes a REALLY long time to refresh the page when I post a comment. The comment goes through quickly enough, as I can load the page in a new tab/window and it’s there, but in the actual tab/window where I wrote it, it can take long enough to time out.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Jason,
Good luck with your issues. Let us know how it goes.
September 20th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Definitely. But I suspect it can also happen in the absence of strong emotional content, appearing to be the simple lack of a response where in fact it’s a comparatively unemotional inhibition of a response.
But that’s just my speculation
Would you say the subsurface is a metaphorical conscious container for those things you’re trying to deny?
September 21st, 2007 at 1:13 am
I’d say that’s pretty much exactly what it is, Mark.
September 21st, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Great conversation! Jason and Mark, you have done a wonderful job clarifying some of the blind spots I have had with conscious and subconscious mind.
Thanks Jason for the note on the long comment reload time. I’ll start working on it. It’s all a learning process…