Dream Smart
Posted in Personal Development on August 6th, 2007 by JennyWhat would your life be like if you woke up tomorrow morning and your biggest dream had become a reality? Does it matter to you how it materialized or whether or not you had to work for it? Do you think you would be much happier or ultimately find fairly quickly that your life is basically the same (or even worse) than before obtaining what you most desire?
I started thinking about this question several years ago after realizing the things I thought would bring me great happiness, gratitude and joy were not actually primary contributors. In fact, they were not even in the top 10 list. I found this out quite by accident. See, I love keeping notes on things and experiences in my life; first impressions of people, what animals I’ve seen while walking and so forth. So for fun one year I decided to track three things or experiences every day that brought me happiness, gratitude or joy.
Seriously, I was convinced my happiness was tied to “things”, people (such as my boyfriend at the time) or even money. This was not the case. Over the course of a year money was a source of happiness, gratitude or joy exactly 11 times, out of a possible 1,095, and even my boyfriend did not make regular appearances. What surprised me was that experiences were what showed up consistently - watching the sunrise as I ran in the morning, reading an interesting book, listening to a great song, a stop at the bakery for freshly baked bread with butter - you get the picture.
I began wondering what else I thought I wanted that realistically I might find I do not. I thought about this quite a bit, particularly in regards to my goals and dreams, while also considering the potential consequences if I received what I desired. What if I was given my most coveted dream only to find I was not ready to handle it? I started questioning whether the time and effort put into achieving a goal is essential to enjoying it, not because of the pride felt upon earning it, but because the experiences inherent in building one’s dream act as filters to determine whether you are ready to possess it or even really want it.
One example that stands out in my mind of getting without earning is people who win the lottery. On the surface they have just been given a huge gift. Unfortunately, money does not fundamentally change you or your life, it just magnifies what is already there. If you have bad relationships, money will not change that. If you are a drug addict or alcoholic, money just speeds up the process. If you can not manage the money you already have, just imagine what will happen if you suddenly had millions. If you are a solid person with good relationships the money probably would be a blessing, but if you aren’t, click here to see what it looks like.
What would happen if instead of pipe dreams you took the time to create “real” dreams. Dreams based on the experiences or things, which bring you joy, which you are passionate about or that would truly improve your life. What if when creating your dreams you spent time considering how your life would look once your dream is realized, as well as how it would look day-to-day along the way? Would a careful examination of your dream change what you are dreaming about? How would it change you? Have you done this or do you plan to? If so, I’d love to hear more.
Related Posts:
You Will Self-Destruct in 5…4…3…
Understanding the Daunting Goals
The Importance of Awareness and Acceptance
August 6th, 2007 at 11:42 am
This is a very good article. I agree with you… there is a temporary reward from being where you dreamed, but there is a much greater reward (orders of magnitude greater) which lasts much longer from the journey toward it. If that journey is extremely short (as in you are given your dream with little or no effort), the joy derived from it is proportionately small. If the journey is long, and requires effort, then the joy derived from it will grow, both in magnitude and duration. Achieving a goal that takes a life time of work brings more joy and satisfaction than nearly anything else. That is one of the reasons why raising children can bring such joy… there are no shortcuts. You have to go through the entire, decades long journey, and so if they turn out well, you receive immense satisfaction, even joy, and it lasts a long time, most likely the rest of your life.
August 7th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I also feel like in achieving a dream easily and quickly there is the assumption that anyone could have done it. To use Jenny’s example, all it took was luck to win the lottery. Thus, there is no great sense of achievement and one does not feel much self fulfillment, or more importantly pride, from getting there. Therefore, it is difficult to respect what you have attained.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:57 am
If tomorrow morning I will wake up and my biggest dream would be reality, it would bring much pleasure into my life. Not happiness, but pleasure.
And the thing with pleasure is that by nature it doesn’t last, it isn’t consistent, while happiness is regarded as something more durable.
Pleasure can be achieved quicly and with small amounts of effort, while happiness is something that must e built over time.
I’ve set my dreams so that I could never achieve them… because I love the journey more than the destination.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Even with pleasure, however, the amount of pleasure you derive and the length of time it lasts is generally correlated strongly to the amount of effort it took to achieve.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Sheesh I comment a lot on here… am I your top commenter?
August 8th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Armand,
I agree that the journey is where it’s at…that said I certainly enjoy stopping at destinations along the way.
Hey Jason,
Don’t know about top, but you are one of my favorites.
August 8th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Why thank you… I even linked to you on the Steve Pavlina forums in a new thread today about favorite self development web sites.
August 8th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Why thanks Jason! I like your site a lot also. I’ll have to check the thread out when I get to Steve’s…