Jenny and Erin

Why do we sabotage ourselves? Why do we act in ways to keep ourselves from achieving our goals, while actively working to reach the very same goal? Is this because we have huge blind spots when it comes to getting what we want? Or maybe it is something else. Could it be an unconscious belief we do not deserve what we desire, or even an underlying fear of success?

If asked a year ago if I was guilty of self sabotage I would have answered with a resounding, “No!” However, I am realizing we all have something in us that does not want us to succeed. This appears as questions regarding our worth, fear of the unknown or an overall self doubt. It appears as that awful voice in your head, slowly listing our faults and reminding us exactly why success is impossible. Most of us try to muffle the voice or ignore it all together. Although we may be able to quite this voice, it hides elsewhere, in our actions. On a conscious level we are typically unaware of these actions, but they are present and act as self sabotaging mechanisms to keep us from reaching our goals. Sounds silly, doesn’t it?

I first noticed my own tendencies to do this when Jenny and I began walking long distances. Before our first long walk we agreed it was essential we both get new shoes. When the big trail day arrived I had not bought new shoes, nor had Jenny. Walking in my old warn out shoes slowed my pace and made my feet ache unnecessarily. On another trail both Jenny and I decided we did not feel like carrying extra water, despite the heat. By the time we finished the trail I was feeling light-headed and out of energy. The culmination of these things built a rather daunting road block, offering many compelling reasons to quit.

Thankfully, I did not quit. You see, walking 10 hours in a day gave me plenty of time to look at these ridiculous behaviors. I identified them as more than poor planning or stupidity. I realized they were failed attempts to self sabotage my success. Identifying this has made it easier to thwart other attempts to sabotage the walks.

After admitting I am guilty of self sabotage I began looking more closely at myself and the people around me. Sadly, I found self sabotaging efforts everywhere. People want close relationships, but then never make time for those people. People want to get into shape, but find excuses not to exercise. People want a promotion at work, but spend their days around the water cooler complaining about their job, company and boss.

Do you behave like this anywhere in your own life? Is it out of fear? Or is it so when you fail (which you believe you are going to) you can say you knew it was impossible the whole time? Or maybe you believe if you never fully commit to a goal and permit self sabotaging behavior you are not as disappointed when you do not reach it. Any of these attitudes can destroy your success. You need to deal with these fears, questions and doubts head-on, or you may sabotage yourself without even knowing it. Yes, this is hard and painful, but your other option ensures you will not get what you want either. If you are determined enough to walk the path to your goals, you may as well make success as likely as possible.

This entry was posted in Things I Don't Understand on Monday, July 9th, 2007 by Erin Dietrich. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.