Jenny and Erin

Have you ever noticed that some goals feel more attainable as you move towards them, while others do just the opposite? The small triumphs you experience while working towards some goals make you want to work harder, while small triumphs with other goals feel like painful reminders of just how far you still need to go? It’s not a mirage, some goals seem to have the momentum within them, while others you have to keep feeding them to keep the momentum rolling.

I call goals with internal momentum self-fueled goals. These are the goals that as I work towards they take on a momentum of their own and seemingly carrying themselves forward. I am aware of the barriers with my self-fueled goals, yet I am still able to envision even greater possibilities and feel my goal’s reality. The goal and the very journey, is motivating in itself. Jenny and my dare turned goal for this summer (click here if you don’t know about this goal) is definitely a self-fueled goal. Yes, it’s work - and very hard work at times - but the joy of working towards it keeps me motivated. Self-fueled goals seem to resonate so deeply in my soul that they inspire me to do better and to do more. In fact, on our walk this morning we discussed adding a more difficult trail that we had previously taken off our list. But, before I get ahead of myself…

Not all goals are self-fueled. Some require constant motivation every single step. I call these monster goals. They are hard and typically painful. Every day I have to convince myself that the goal is worth the work and the end will come. Take my fear of public speaking. I rehearse, go to Toastmasters and have even had a few successes. However, it just isn’t getting easier. I hope, and on the good days believe, that someday public speaking won’t be so difficult for me, but for now, each time it feels like torture. Sometimes I just really want to quit and forget about it.

So what’s the difference between the two goals? Why is one self-fueled and the other isn’t? I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not a matter of choosing the right or wrong goals. Nor does it have to do with the perceived difficulty of the goal (I don’t think I’ve had a more difficult goal than the walking and training for 588 trail miles). Some goals are self-fueled because of their very nature.

Self-fueled goals typically have a distinct endpoint. And more importantly, it is abundantly clear what needs to be done to get to that endpoint. Walking 15 trails is clearer than practicing and improving speaking publicly. There isn’t a lot of guesswork associated with the self-fueled goal. Yes, maybe a bit of trial and error, but the end is still clear. Self-fueled goals also typically have some enjoyment incorporated into them. With walking I get to be outside, goof around with a good friend and see new places. This does encourage me on the harder days.

Is it possible to then to turn a monster goal into a self-fueled one? Unfortunately I don’t think so. But, I believe lessons can be taken from self-fueled goals to help the monster goals not feel so daunting. This may include incorporating an end-date, making a detailed list of what you should do to get to the endpoint and add some enjoyment to it. So maybe Toastmasters isn’t the best way for me to improve my public speaking skills. An acting class, or play, would offer me an endpoint (the performance), a detailed list (memorize lines, rehearsal and blocking and it would be more fun for me. However, I think the most important step to overcoming monster goals is to accept that they are not self-fueled goals, and to stop waiting for the to become one. Keeping this in mind keeps my expectations of the goal, and it’s ease, in check.

This entry was posted in Personal Development on Monday, May 7th, 2007 by Erin Dietrich. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.